just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
