I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
