The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
