dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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