Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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