he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
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