oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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