I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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