dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
