There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
we're so committed to being not committed
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
