Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
