that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
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sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
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She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
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