Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize