Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
