big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
