We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize