if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
