i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
