Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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