the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
