Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
