lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
