is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
