turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you traded sex for a burrito?
sarcasm needs its own font
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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