Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Randomize
