Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
