ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
