I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
