I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
