Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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