i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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