They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
