I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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