i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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