And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
