But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
last night I used snow as a chaser
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
