Fine. I'll sleep in my office
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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