Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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