I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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