The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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