i would punch a child for taco bell
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
