it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
