I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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