Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
