Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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