Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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