I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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