69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
