Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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