But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
from now on my penis is your penis
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
