chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
