I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
