i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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