I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I need a burrito and a hug.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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