PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
