I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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