things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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