I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
