gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
