Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
