why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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