When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
