just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
