Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
