i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
