I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
