do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
